I was reading one of our friends internet journals and she was talking about a song she had heard. The song was "Find Your Wings" by Mark Harris. I downloaded the song and it really has made me think. I put a lot of thought into my friendships and I make sure to try and tell my friends and family what they mean to me. I do this because I do not want to have regrets and I do not want it to be too late before I tell someone how I feel about them. I do not however do this with my boys. Too often I push them aside so that I can do what I want. I tell them to keep quiet so that I can talk to my friends. I tell them I will play with them later after I am doing what I want and then later I tell them later again. So I do not want to play cops with Danny, I don't want to be arrested and sent to jail, so what? It's not about me and someday when my boys have grown up and left my house I know I would give anything to play cops again. So why is that so hard to see now? Why am I so selfish now when I know that one day I will wish for all this time back? I need to start living for right now and cherishing what I have.
Danny and Andrew- You are my gifts from God and I need to start treating you like that. Everyone says how fast this time goes by and I know, even though it feels far away now, someday very soon I won't even be able to pick you up and hold you in my arms. You both are amazing boys in different ways and I know God has special plans for each of you. I am excited for the part that I will play in your lives. I have and will make mistakes as your mom but I will always love you. What I am trying to say is that I may not want to play cops or be arrested or hold you on my hip all day but because God has entrusted you to me and I cherish and love you...I will.
4 comments:
Hi Kristin!
Yup it's you. Hope you don't mind I peeked over. Had to say I loved loved loved this post *sniff sniff*. One thing I have learned over this difficult year is not to take anything for granted in my life and cherish each and every moment I have with my child. Our children are truly a gift of God. You are a great mom with a good heart and it is obvious how much you love your boys.
I am glad you liked the song...I think it really encompasses how you feel as a parent. I am dreading when he actually leaves home! I know it is so far in the future, but time flies.
Amen to all of that, Kristin. Great post.
Kristin - I appreciate your honesty with this post. I feel the same way, and it's not easy realizing that our kids are so much more than nuisances. As for your friendships, what you wrote in my card was so touching, and I thank you so much for again being so honest!
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